A Hard Day

Today has been a hard day for me, actually as the Holidays near, every day gets a little harder for me. Realizing you will be alone for the holidays is probably not something people look forward to, at least it isn't for me. It has been pretty good up until now. It seems as though all I do is work, go home, sleep and the vicious cycle starts all over again. Day after day after day. I go to work in the dark and I come home in the dark.

I yearn for the companionship, the cuddling, and the safety I felt this time last year. I want to feel warm inside instead of feeling cold and dull all the time. I know my family is trying to be supportive, but they can't fill this void I have in my life. I pray that God will help me through this tough time in my life, so I may be at peace with myself and not have such a heavy heart.

Everywhere I look it seems as though everyone else's life is going great-they are in great marriages, having children, enjoy their jobs, have accomplished things. I will be 30 in exactly 30 days and I have accomplished nothing in these 30 years except to fail in two marriages.

My question is where does the loneliness, sickness, heartbreak and discouragement end and when will my life begin again?